piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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