almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize