i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love having hate sex.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
