yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
