Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize