I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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