help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
