If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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