if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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