Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
