piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
