honey bunches of taint.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
