You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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