Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The uberlube is also flammable
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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