Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
