you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
