The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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