she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
