WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
