she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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