Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
