you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
