I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
