Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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