they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
