i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
