Your face is a jimmy john
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
