Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
