just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
