this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
