Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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