My girlfriend figured out who you are.
high people should be assigned attendants
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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