dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
