The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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