Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
