you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
