brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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