brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
