using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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