forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
