Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Fuck appropriateness.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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