please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
