My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
