The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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