It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
