It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize