I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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