It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
