i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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