It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish you could order shots online.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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