4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
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So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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