He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Drake has all the answers
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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