The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
