Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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