I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
