just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
