I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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