Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
