The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize