idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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