why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
