I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's the barista slut.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
