Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
